


You'll be my Resolution

by harryydarling



Category: One Direction
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Romance, Sad!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryydarling/pseuds/harryydarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has an off night during their performance and is feeling really down on himself when Harry comes to the rescue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll be my Resolution

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the beautiful song [Resolution by Matt Corby](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLpANKs7hH8)
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Louis was out of there, as fast as his short, little legs could move. He walked, as fast as he could without running, off the stage. He was so upset with himself and his performance that night. His voice was shit, his solos were botched, and his energy was nowhere to be found. That’s what he thought anyway.

As soon as he was off the stage he found himself in the restroom, leaning over the sink taking deep and slow breathes, trying to keep from breaking down right then and there. He splashed is face with cold water and it worked for the most part. He put on his best I’m-not-about-to-break-down-into-a-million-pieces face for the boys and the rest of the crew.

He knew the boys had plans that night, and he was looking forward to ditching them so he could sulk alone in his room. He found the boys in their dressing room, changing into more casual clothing for their night out. Louis tried his best to seem upbeat and perfectly fine, but of course, Harry had noticed something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Harry asked him quietly, trying not to make a scene for his boyfriend’s sake.

“Oh, nothing, I just have a bit of a headache is all,” Louis made up an excuse.

Harry just nodded and pressed a kiss to his temple.

-

The ride to the hotel was just about torture. All of the boys were goofing off and making a huge racket. Louis was starting to get a bit of the headache he had feigned earlier. But he tried to laugh along with them at the right times, but it never felt right. He was starting to cave in on himself. He kept reciting everything that wasn’t good enough about himself in his head. It was one of those moments where you’re sad about one thing, but then it snowballs and turns into a thousand things that you hate about yourself.

Louis was just about to go mad when the car finally stopped at the back entrance of the hotel. They all piled out and entered into the lobby.

“So, what do you say we go down to the pub tonight?” Zayn recited their plans they made yesterday.

“Sounds great, everybody on board?” Liam looked at the other three for confirmation.

“Uh, I’m not feeling too well tonight lads, I think I’ll just head back up to the room.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie.

“Are you sure, Lou?” Niall had asked

“Yeah, I can stay with you if you-” Harry started.

“No, no, you go ahead, I’ll be fine,” Louis intervened and smiled weakly up at him.

“Alright, only if you’re sure.”

“Of course, you go have fun.”

“Okay. Just call me if you need anything. Promise?” Harry looked at him sincerely. The other boys were already at the door, waiting for them to get done with their little fawning session. Well, Harry’s fawning session.

“I promise, babe. Now get going, you’re keeping the other boys waiting.” Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ lips quickly before walking over to the other boys.

“I love you.” He had called back as they walked out the door.

Louis just smiled and gave a small wave, watching them leave.

-

Louis could feel himself sinking lower and lower the closer he got to his hotel room. The tears prickling behind his eyes. He tried his best to keep them at bay until he got to his hotel room on the off chance he were to meet someone in these long corridors.

And sure enough, as soon as he got through the door, he leaned up against it and sank down, the tears starting to fall. They fell incessantly, making Louis’ eyes red and puffy around the edges. He brought his knees up to his chest to rest his arms on and bury his head into his arms. He just cried. Body shaking, tears falling, and nose running. He lost track of all that he was crying about. It started out about the show. He just couldn’t believe how terrible he had done. His voice cracked numerous times, he forgot the lyrics during two of his solos, and he just couldn’t get his energy up to dance and goof around with all the other boys. He wanted to personally and sincerely apologize to every single person who attended that show.

But then it snowballed into other things. He started thinking about everything else that made him feel so insignificant and just plain terrible about himself. He started to think about how he had the weakest voice of One Direction. Everybody said so. Even the fans. He was reminded on a daily basis how much better the other boys were at singing than he was. He can’t even watch his X Factor audition without cringing because it was that bad. It was also a telltale sign when he was given the least amount of solos on their first album. He tried not to think about it much back then, but now he sees just how terrible his voice must’ve been for them to decide that he wasn’t worthy of a fair share of solos.

At that point, Louis had gotten up from the floor and made his way to the bed, lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling that was blurred by his tears.

His mind started up again and wandered over to his physique. How his thighs were a bit too thick, his tummy had a little too much pudge to it, and he was just a tad too short. These were things that he was desperate to fix, and even tried in the gym to do so. But he could never help the shortness issue, and with touring and being so busy, sometimes he just didn’t have the energy to hit the gym for an hour afterwards.

He also got shit for his tattoos. How they were seemingly meaningless markings on his skin. But that was the opposite of what they were. Every single one had a meaning. And if he could, he would sit down and explain every single one’s true meaning. How they relate to his experiences, and even more so, how some of them relate to his relationship. But he can’t, and that makes him cry even harder.

He can’t stand the idea that his true self, along with his relationship is going to have to stay hidden forever. At least until their fame begins to die down. He hates having to hide his relationship with the boy he loves so much from everybody. Sure, a fair amount of people know, but he wants to be able to shout his love for Harry from the rooftops. He wants every single person on planet earth to know just how much he loves his boy. He wants to express his love for him on a daily, hourly, minutely basis without fear of who will see. He hates having to be taken away from him for weeks on end when their heart eyes become too noticeable. It’s torture, and this is what hurts him the most.

Speaking of the boy, Louis heard a knock on the door and instantly rolled over onto his side, facing away from where Harry was going to enter. He heard the door unlock and Harry poked his head through.

“Louis?” he said tentatively. He heard a sniffle coming from the bed and noticed the small boy, curled in on himself. He began to worry and quickly made his way over.

He sat on the side of the bed, and started to rub his hand soothingly up and down the older boy’s back. He did that for a while, not saying anything, just letting his hand try to soothe Louis at least a little bit. But when it didn’t seem to be working – Louis’ small body still shaking with tears and nose sniffling – Harry leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head before whispering, “Talk to me, babe.”

Louis had shaken his head, not trusting his voice to talk.

“Well then at least let me hold you?” Harry pleaded.

Louis agreed to that and sat up, still trying to hide his face from Harry – not wanting him to see his face all red and puffy – as the young boy sat on the bed next to him. Louis instantly cuddled into his side, hiding his face in his chest. Harry held onto the boy, wrapping his arms around him. Louis continued to shake, tears falling onto the front of Harry’s shirt. Louis gripped onto the younger boy’s shirt in his tiny hand, making him seem even more small and fragile than he already was.

Harry rubbed soothing circle on his back whispering, “Shhh.. shh.. It’ll be alright.. shhh.” The younger boy was still oblivious to what was making Louis so upset.

It seemed to help in the very slightest, just the warmth of the young boy soothing to Louis. His tears subsided to prominent hiccups and consistent shutters. The thoughts still ran around in his head of how insufficient he was, making him squeeze his eyes shut just wanting to disappear.

“Do you want to talk now?” Harry asked soothingly, yet not condescendingly.

Louis nodded his head yes, but still didn’t trust his voice to speak.

Harry noticed and said, “What’s the matter, babe?” while soothing Louis by petting back his hair and rubbing his fingertips into his scalp.

Louis recited everything that went on in his head, starting from the show and working down the list. He seemed to be rambling, but Harry was catching every single word. Just listening, his brows furrowed, mostly in confusion for why Louis would think such things. How this perfect boy in his arms with the blue eyes that are now staring up at him could think such terrible things about himself. How this perfect boy could bring himself to tears over things that only he really worries about.

But then he started explaining how he felt about hiding his relationship from the world and how much he wanted to exclaim his love for Harry from the rooftops, and the young boy found himself nodding in agreement and his eyes clouding as well. He bites them back, knowing he has to stay strong for Louis right now.

When Louis finishes and looks up at Harry with newly wet eyes, all Harry does first is lean down and kiss his damp lips. It’s a small peck, but Louis still feels the sheer love and admiration Harry has for him. Louis gives a small smile, the first in what seems like days.

Then Harry speaks, his voice coming out slower and raspier than usual, “I love you so much, baby,” he starts, “It hurts me to see you like this. These tears do not belong on your face. You are perfect, your voice is perfect, your tattoos are perfect, and fuck if your body isn’t _unbelievably_ perfect. Every inch of it. I don’t care what anybody says or what anybody thinks or even what you think, but every single part of you – from your head to your toes – is absolutely beautiful. I really wish you could see just what you mean to me. And for the record, if it came down to hiding our relationship or not being with you at all, I would rather hide it for the rest of eternity and take it to the grave with me than spend one second without you being mine. Just being with you is enough. I don’t need everybody to know. Sure it would awesome as hell to be able to kiss you whenever I felt like it and steal glances your way multiple times a day without being sent away from each other for a week afterwards. But the fact that I get to be with my perfect boy and spend time with him and hold him like I am now is enough for me.” Harry’s eyes were brimming with tears and he was finding it much harder to blink them away.

He let one slip and Louis instantly reached up to wipe it away. He followed it by leaning up to kiss the ever so pink lips of the boy he loves so much. Harry pulled him impossibly closer and kissed him with enough passion to knock someone out.

They pulled away and Louis yawned. “C’mon, it’s late, we should get to bed.” Harry says.

Louis just nodded and they both stood up to strip down to only their boxers before Louis pulled on a pair of pajama pants. Harry stayed in just his boxers. They climbed into bed next to one another, Louis instantly finding his spot on Harry’s chest, with his arm draped across his stomach. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis, pulling him in.

They laid like that for a while, neither of them necessarily trying to sleep. Just wanting to enjoy each other’s company.

“You still awake?” Harry finally asked.

Louis nodded and mumbled, “Can’t sleep.” Which was a complete lie. If he closed his eyes for more than a millisecond he would be right out.

“Neither can I,” Harry lied as well. “So what do you want to do?” Harry asked after a pause.

“Just talk to me?” Louis turned it into a question.

Harry chuckled, which vibrated under Louis’ head, “Why?”

Louis shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s soothing.”

“Alright. Well, what do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything. Um… talk about what you love.” The older boy suggests.

“Hmm… what I love..” Harry contemplates.

“Yeah, like food, movies, music, anything.” Louis helps.

“Alright.. Well.. I love pasta. I love the movies Titanic and Love Actually. My favorite band would have to be – oh this is a tough one – it’s probably a tie between The Temper Trap and The 1975, um….”

Louis listens as Harry goes on describing the things that he loves – most of which Louis already knows. He just loves to listen to Harry talk. The man could talk for hours on end, no interruptions, no breaks, and Louis would listen without so much as a slight level of annoyance. So he zones out for a bit just listening to the slight changes in tone and the vibrations in his chest. But his ears perk up when he hears something that catches his interest.

“And I love you,” Harry had said. “I love everything about you. I love your humor, I love how you don’t take things too seriously, and I love the fact that you can find the good in everything. I love your eyes. They’re the perfect blue and I could stare into them for hours. I’m sorry, I’m sure that’s the reason we get sent away from each other so often, but I just can’t help it. They’re so beautiful. I also love how your hair does the thing that makes you swipe it away with your finger and thumb. It’s so cute yet sexy at the same time and it makes me want to sink my fingers in your hair right then and there. I love every single one of your tattoos. I know I already said it once tonight, but it’s true. I love how each one has a different meaning, and each meaning is so important to you. And I love your fingers as well. They’re so dainty and cute that even when you flip someone off it’s not all that menacing. Your little tummy is one of the things I love most about you. You may hate it, but I love how when you wear shirts that are a little tighter it hugs your tummy. It just makes you look so cuddly and I just want to hold you in my arms forever. And don’t get me started on your bum. Now that _is_ my favorite part about you. I won’t go too far on that subject” – Harry chuckled to himself, not knowing whether Louis was even awake anymore or not, but couldn’t find it in him to stop – “And I love your legs as well. They may be short, but that’s just what makes us perfect for each other. Me with the long body and gangly limbs, and you with the more petite and sturdy frame. That’s why we work so well together, babe. Well that and the fact that we were meant to be together. I’ve never been a big believer in fate, but ever sense I fell in love with you, it has been a permanent fixture in my life. I mean, we were at the same concert together for Christ’s sake. Then we audition on the same day for X Factor and even meet in the bathrooms. And _then_ we’re put in the same freaking band together. Now tell me that’s not fate.” He pauses for a second. “I think that’s what I love most – fate. Well, after you of course. But without it, I wouldn’t have met you.” He paused and realized that Louis’ body seemed awfully still for someone who should be awake and listening.

“Louis, are you awake?” He asked, petting the older boys’ hair.

“Mhmm,” he barely hummed.

Harry’s cheeks flushed, fully taking in all that he said and how sappy it must’ve sounded. “Oh, so you heard all of that?”

Louis turned his head to look at Harry and all that Harry saw was the loving smile and the fondness in his eyes. “Yes, I did babe. And I would like to say a big ditto. One big ass ditto. I love you so much.” Harry leaned down to plant a slow, tender kiss to Louis’ lips. “And yes, it was sappy, but that’s one of the many things _I_ love about _you_.” Louis continued.

“You should tell me about them sometime,” Harry teased.

“Definitely. I would love too,” Louis’ eyes shined just from the thoughts running around in his head of how much he loved about the boy.

“But not tonight, love. Now it’s really late and I know we’re both extremely tired. So let’s get some rest.” Harry suggested.

Louis agreed with a nod. “I love you, Haz.”

“And I love you, Lou. A lot.”

Louis fell asleep that night with a large smile on his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning was really hard to write considering there is absolutely nothing wrong with the perfect man named Louis Tomlinson. 
> 
> Anyway, Comments and Kudos are always very much appreciated! :)


End file.
